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VOLUME 1, ISSUE 2
Front Page
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Coruscant Pollution Levels Hit New High
CORUSCANT - Carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere have reached dangerous levels, according to a study released by a Senate hearing committee.
Coruscant, home to the Galactic Senate as well as the Trade Federation and the Commerce Guild, has always had high levels of contaminants in the air. Experts speculate the large number of flying vehicles coupled with the complete lack of vegetation as the source of the problem.
"See, if we had at least some trees- a small park, even a forest maybe, some of this carbon dioxide might be taken out of our atmosphere and converted into something useful. Like oxygen," said committee chairperson Snook Ghana.
"As it is, all we have is skyscrapers, urban sprawl, and these darn low flying aircraft that do nothing but eat away at our upper atmosphere," said Ghana. "If we don't clean this up soon, we're going to have some serious global warming issues."
Bad Motivator Linked to R5-D4 Droid Recall
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TATOOINE - Makers of the R5-D4 have acknowledged a bad motivator is causing a failure thousands of their droids around the galaxy.
Industrial Automoton says the astromech droid recall will not affect any other "R" series droids including R2-D2 and R2-D3.
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Complaints started to file in shortly after the droid was released to the market.
"We almost bought one of those things. Now I'm glad we didn't," said moisture farmer Owen Lars in a phone interview. "Who knows what kind of problems we'd be in for if we bought one from those Jawas."
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STARDATE 109.172.06 |
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New Details Emerge in Bounty Hunter Death
TATOOINE - A new twist is emerging in the death of Jabba the Hut's alleged henchman Greedo.
Local authorities say the security cameras that documented the event may have been tampered with.
Previous video of the incident showed Greedo shooting first and then being killed.
New video has surfaced showing that Greedo's attacker fired a blaster weapon first and Greedo apparently did not shoot at all.
After analyzing the original security footage, an Imperial image specialist reported that the video was obviously fake.
"Just looking at how Greedo is holding the gun, you can tell that [the original video] is a fake and a bad fake at that," he said.
(See BOUNTY HUNTER, 4A)
Entertainment: Max Rebo Tour to Include Cloud City
MOS EISLEY - Sy Snootles, still recovering from lip surgery, is uncertain if she can make the first leg of the tour, which is set to include Bespin's Cloud City, Endor, and Roon.
(See LIFESTYLES, Page B)
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McDonald's to Build First Restaurant on Dagobah, Starbucks Next
DAGOBAH - A spokespeerson for McDonald's Restaurant announced in a press conference Thursday their plans to open a new franchise on Dagobah.
McDonald's will be the first restaurant of any kind on the planet, which is mostly swamp.
"Sure, traffic in Dagobah is light right now - just a few foil-wing starfighters here and there, but we expect a significant jump in traffic this time next year," said Jeremy Bender, McDonald's representative.
The next few years will be busy for the marshy planet, with a Starbucks planned for February and a Barnes and Noble bookstore in March.
Tractor Beam Security on D.S. to be Upgraded
DEATH STAR - An Imperial spokesperson says in light of recent events and public outcry of the presumed death of TK-421, security details on the Death Star will be strengthened.
"We thought we had good numbers," said Akoon Farah, speaking for the Empire. "Obviously, we were wrong. We're looking where else our trooper numbers are light in case of another rebel attack on our otherwise impenetrable starbase." |
